RotNLuk's Justin Chortie presents: Leningen through the Monkey's Pocket
In The Beginning
"Hello There! I am Justin Chortie, and I am your host of RotNLuk TeleVision's new reality television show, Haunted Crib. Where we stick four or more? innocent people in a haunted mansion and they have to survive four months in the mansion. The last person to survive gets One million Euros, which is actually higher than an American Million, now." Said Justin Chortie, one of the three co-owners of a website (rotnluk.com) and its newly made television channel. "And now let's introduce the competitors!"
"Weighing in at a muscular two-hundred pounds, a veteran with an attitude, the one, the only, Sergeant Major Morris." Said Michael Buffer, legendary, boxing and wrestling announcer.
"You're a Grand Old Flag" starts playing as he comes into the mansion, waving a flag.
"I'd just like everyone to remember, never dabble with the art of magic, I have gotten in trouble for doing this. In fact, I lost a few friends from a little Monkey's Paw that I used for three wishes." Said the US veteran
"Coming into the castle, an amazing man, who took on billions of little ants in swarms, with the help of the people that worked on his farm, the new king of pest-control, Leningen!" Announced Mister Buffer.
"William Tell" starts playing as Leningen enters the castle.
"The human brain needs only to become fully aware of its powers to conquer even the elements" said Leningen
"And now, a man who works a desk job, a man who almost gave up his life for work, but learned family is more important, the only family man to appear on this show, Tom Benecke!" Said Michael.
The "Leave it to Beaver" theme starts playing as Tom Benecke enters.
"I'd like to dedicate this show to my wife, she is going to keep half of my earnings." Tom said.
"And finally, The only british person on the show, and the first ever child to be a cast member of a reality TV show, Jerry!" Announced Michael
"Beethoven's Ninth Symphony" starts playing as Jerry walks into the castle.
"I'm eleven years old, I just recently traveled to France, went through a really long tunnel underwater and almost drowned but I went through it, and I became a better person for it.
"For the eight in attendance and the millions watching at home, Let's get ready to rumble!" Shouted Michael Buffer.
"How many times have I heard that before?" Justin Chortie whispered to the other two co-owners, his sister, Danielle, and cousin, Amanda.
"Too Many!" They both said as they chuckled madly.
He still remembers the day that he got the idea for the show.
He remembers being assigned to write a short story in english class and realized he should write about a reality TV show involving four of the characters that the class looked at. At this time he didn't know that all the stories were actually non-fiction and the people really existed.
"Ah! those were the days" Said Justin to his now bored sister.
"How many times have you told me that story?" Said Danielle, his sister. "I mean really, so what, if this is going to make or break us as a Television channel."
"It will definitely make us..." said justin "Because we don't have anything else to show, this is all we will show, what's going on twenty-four hours a day, and seven days a week, until three of them give in and one is declared the winner.
Limp Bizkit's song: "Break Stuff" started playing.
The contestants became very confused.
"I have a big surprise for all of you contestants! There will be a fifth cast member of the show!" Said Danielle, menacingly, as her and her fellow partners exhanged knowing looks, and the cast looked confused.
"Coming into the castle one of the greatest hardcore wrestlers in history, Marc Mandrake!" Shouted Michael Buffer.
Marc walked into the castle, with a kendo stick and a water bottle in his hands, his CBGB shirt on, and his blue pants that say Mandrake on the sides; and hugged Danielle.
"The four of you most likely don't have the gonads to survive in a castle with Marc Mandrake!"
"Now, remember Marc we're not going to go easy on you because you're a friend of ours" Justin said, as Danielle gave him a dirty look. "Danielle might, but Amanda and I won't."
"LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" screamed Amanda at the top of her lungs.
Danielle, Amanda, and Justin left the five cast members and Michael Buffer, who is currently serving as the on-screen host, in the mansion.
"Okay! Time to wake up!" said Michael Buffer "You've all got a long day ahead of you!"
"So what do we have to do, huh? Huh?" Said Jerry questioningly and child-like, at the same time.
"Jerry, you have to go to the thirteenth floor with Tom, Marc you have to go to the boiler room with me, and Leningen, you and Sergeant Major Morris are going to the attic." Said Michael Buffer to the cast members.
"How come Marc gets to go with you?" said Jerry.
"Because he knows some people in high places" said Michael.
"More like because the co-creators are his fan club." Said Jerry.
"This is true, but isn't it also true, that the only reason you came here is because you were a character in a short story?" Said Michael.
As they were leaving to find their Missions, they got startled because Michael told them that the place was haunted by a man who used to live there who was a murderer, who would kill all of his victims in this very house. He would keep them captive in the attic, kill them on the thirteenth floor, and burn them in the boiler room.
The goal was to find the creators of the show, who had messages for the cast members, in the respective floors.
So Jerry and Tom walk up to the thirteenth floor, and they hear loud shrieks. They go looking for where the noise is coming from, and it turns out that Justin was bound and tied up. He was screaming in terror.
"Oh My God, are you Okay?" asked Tom.
"No, I'm not okay, could you guys untie me?" Shouted Justin.
"We were supposed to get a message from you, though!" said Jerry.
"We'll get it from him after we untie him." said Tom.
"You know, I don't like the idea of you guys arguing and not untying me, it's angering me, so I might not tell you guys, but you guys will have to trust me because I'll try to be true to my word." He said.
So, they untie him.
"You untied me, so as I promised, my message is, leave right now, please! I got tied up, and bound by something I couldn't even see, I hate the paranormal." Said Justin.
"That was the message? To leave now?" Said Jerry, "I mean I survived not breathing for three minutes or longer, and you want us to leave a haunted mansion after a day."
"I believe he's true to his word" Said Tom "So, I will leave indefinitely."
"Jerry, are you coming with us, or are you staying in this evil mansion?"
"It was nice knowing you, goodbye!" said Jerry "It was fun, bye!"
"If that is your choice I have to accept it." said Justin "By now, I believe the three of us are the only ones here, because he told me he would attempt to kill everyone else, everyone else is as good as dead, we need to save them."
About at this point, Marc and Michael have met up with Danielle who was bound and Leningen and Sergeant Major Morris had met up with Amanda, the same way.
Everyone ends up finding each other on the staircase.
"We need to think of a plan, and quick, before we all are murdered" said Justin.
"We're all gonna die!" Shouted Marc.
"Marc, have you been drinking again," Danielle asked "and watching The Birds?"
"The first one yes, but what does the second one have anything to do with this, Dee?" asked Marc.
"Because there was the drunk Irish guy in the bar, in The Birds, who uttered that same line, multiple times." Said Justin.
"Okay! Let's come up with a plan before we're stuck in the attic, killed on the thirteenth floor and cooked in the boiler room!" Shouted Amanda.
"I think that with the power of the mind we can accomplish anything, including getting rid of the murderer." said Leningen.
"The exterminator has a point," said Sergeant Major Morris, "and a good one at that."
"I'm not an exterminator I just killed billions of ants."
"Yeah, right, and I'm not the reason Herbert White isn't alive."
"What?" everyone else said, in unison.
"What's the matter?"
"The owner of this mansion's name was Herbert White, explain!" said Justin.
"I gave this monkey's paw to a friend of mine, it gave three wishes, in exchange for bad things to happen." He said, while everyone else was listening avidly. "He said he wished he had two-hundred dollars, his son died, and the son's boss gave the family two-hundred dollars."
"No wonder the ghost is so mad, he's trying to get to you!" Said Michael. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he kills you."
"Great, so I'm the reason he's after us, now!"
"Yes!" said everyone once again in unison.
"How do we even know there is a ghost?" Said Marc, seriously, this time.
"Because of all the weird noises and everything!" Said Justin.
"C'mon! Didn't you ever watch Scooby-Doo?" Asked Amanda. "There's never a ghost it's always someone dressed up as a ghost!"
They all exchange looks suggesting that Amanda's crazy.
"You want to know the truth?" said Amanda. "I'm the ghost, BOO!"
"You are??" Questioned Marc.
"No, I was just kidding." said Amanda.
"Are we ever going anywhere?" Asked Jerry.
"Look kid, sometimes you need patience," Said Justin. "And the best way to get patience is to sing a song!"
"No, please!" Said Jerry.
Justin pulls his kazoo out, Danielle and Amanda take their music sheets out, the three of them jam out to some of their parody songs, as everyone else except Marc looks thoroughly scared.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
"What was that?" Shouted Justin.
"It sounded like the door," whispered Herbert White.
"Um... Guys.... Who just said that?" asked Jerry, shaking.
"Well, it kind of sounded like Herbert White..." Said Sergeant Major Morris.
"Let's get out of here!" Yelled Amanda.
They all ran downstairs into the living room, but the door was locked, from the inside.
"Okay, we need to try to break open a window." Said Tom.
"I can do it" said Marc as he runs over smashes the window and ends up bleeding badly, from the arm. "Ah, Crap! This is the worst I've been busted open in my life, GFC, Cast Members, and um... Michael Buffer leave me here."
"Okay!" Shouted Amanda
Danielle slaps her. "Don't you ever say anything like that again!" said Danielle. "I'll save you Marc!"
Danielle and Justin put Marc over their shoulders and lightly tossed him out the open window.
"Wheee!" Shouted Marc.
They all went one by one out the window, except for Sergeant Major Morris who stayed to finish some business with an old friend.
"I tried to convince him not to take it, I mean he pulled it out of the fire!" He shouted, "What No! Don't do that, anything but that, Please no!"
Silence spreads throughout the mansion, as if there is no one alive inside the house, for there wasn't.
Was this ghost after revenge or was the real problem the Sergeant's over-imaginitive mind, the only place this could be explained is in the RotNLuk.com Zone.
[[Fades away as the "Twilight Zone" theme plays]]
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Justin Chortie - Voice Overs