The Story of Cooper and Jessica

Written by Amanda Wasielewski
Illustrated and posted by Danielle Chortie

The Story of Cooper and Jessica:
There once was a girl named

and a guy *cough* girl *cough* named

. They met each other one night at a

concert.

approached

and said, "Don't my

pajama pants and wife beater turn you on?" He simply nodded and not even an hour later they were hooking up behind a dumpster near by.

They soon moved in together, decorating their house in beautiful red

pom-poms and pictures of

, the same which were hung when doing ESW's "Hangin' With Mr. Cooper" segment.

Everyday

would come over and steal everyones underpants. They soon came to call him the

.

When

was away,

and

would dress up in womens clothing and prance around the house to "Numba 1" by

. Sometimes they would call

and he would join in on the fun.

One day when

, and

were having their daily dress-up/threesome,

walked in.

quickly grabbed his dress, heels, and plastic

dolls and ran out while

and

stood still in shock.

couldn't believe it. "All this time...and no one invited me?!?" she thought.

replied, "I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore. My new love is

the

was furious, she went and grabbed all of her wife beaters and pajama pants and left. And

and

lived happily ever after and

still continues to come over for their daily dress-up/threesome to this day.