TITLE: I smell a lawsuit AUTHOR: Serra EMAIL: serralynn2001@yahoo.com RATING: PG DISCLAIMER: All wrestling characters are owned by the WWF. The story being MiSTed belongs to its original author, SpiritStream17. I mean no personal disrespect to her, and I'm not making any money off of this, so please be kind ... don't sue. DISTRIBUTION: Please ask first. NOTES: Sorry it took so long to get this last part finished! I hate it when "real life" gets in the way of my fun. ***** An hour later Undertaker and Kane sat at the kitchen table finishing their dinner, empty pizza boxes, beer bottles and assorted other take-out containers scattered around them. Kane (looking around the room): I guess we should clean this mess up before we finish the story. Taker (looking up from his plate to stare at Kane): What do you mean clean it up? Kane: We can't just leave all of this stuff laying around. Taker: Trust me, Serra will never notice. Kane: Unless she's suddenly been struck blind, she's gonna notice. Hell, she'll probably kill herself just trying to get in the door. Taker: She's seen worse. Undertaker finishes off the last of his beer, while Kane stares at him and shakes his head. Taker tosses the empty bottle in the direction of the trash can, stands up and stretches. Taker (looking down at Kane): So are you ready to finish the story so we can get out of here? Kane (standing up): I guess so. I still think we should clean this up, though. Taker: Serra will take care of it. Kane sighs as Undertaker walks into the living room and sits down at the desk. Kane follows him in and settles back into the rocking chair. Taker: Let's see, when last we left, Debra was just about to see Austin, right? Kane nods. {There she found Dr. Friedman in a corner, wipping off the blood on her gloves.} Taker: Well that's an image I didn't need right after dinner. Kane: What, the "wipping" or the blood? Taker: Both. {A silent tear went down her cheek, but she just wipped it off.} Kane: You don't think she actually means "whipping," do you? Taker: I certainly hope not. {She turned around, her face giving away her sorrow and grieve to Debra.} Kane moans. Taker: That's grief, Spirit. G-R-I-E-F. {She walked up to her and whispered words.} Kane: As opposed to what? Taker: Incoherent syllables, maybe? {"A sorry is not going to bring him back, or save him. That's why I won't say it."} Taker: Why won't ANYONE in this hospital apologize when they screw up? Kane: Is it just me, or did the doctor just imply that Austin is both dead AND alive in that sentence? Taker (rereading it): Yes, she did. Kane: Well, which is he? Taker: Beats me. {"You did the best you could Dr. Friedman, let me be alone with my husband now," Debra said.} Taker: I guess he's still alive. {"Of course."} Taker: As long as you promise to sign this form first. It's nothing, really. It just relieves me of any responsibility for Steve's death, even though it IS all my fault. Kane: That's harsh. Taker: Sometimes the truth hurts. {The doctor nooded and went through the doors, leaving Debra alone.} Kane: Can we PLEASE stop the nooding? {Debra then walked up to her husband. His face was pale as the moonlight, his lips had turned so purple, with a midnight blue color to it.} Taker: Damn! It sounds like he was attacked by a cosmetology school reject. {His eyes had a black eye, but huge bags of black under them.} Taker: What in the hell is THAT supposed to mean? {He looked so torn and wreaked, she knew he was ready to go.} Kane: Wreaked? Taker: Wretched, maybe? {He opened his eyes, his infamous bloodshot, crystal blue eyes.} Kane: I've NEVER seen Austin's eyes bloodshot. Taker: Me either. {That surprised Debra, it was the only thing that hadn't changed throughout his whole body.} Taker: How would she know? She's only looked at his face. {Austin smiled his usual smile to her. Right now he was not the cold hearted, tough exterior, foulmouth, beer drinkin' SOB redneck. Right now he was a man in his death bed, looking at his beautiful and caring wife.} Taker and Kane: Aww! {Debra looked at him, letting tears fall down her face. Quickly she bent down and hugged him close, kissing his face.} Taker: This ain't the time for romance, Deb. {Austin smiled, lifting his hand over her head, making her close to his body.} Taker: Okay, apparently this IS the time for romance. I stand corrected. {She could hear his heartbeat. Each time it started to slow little by little. Each time it had a long, long pause.} Taker: We get the point, Spirit! Let's move on now. {Debra sobbed and cried on her husband,} Kane: What's with the sudden redundancies? Taker: Spirit's leading up to the big finale. I guess she wants to make sure we know what's going on. {he just petting her soft silk hair like he always did when she was down.} Kane: Deb's hair is made of silk? Taker: At least she didn't say it was the color of spun gold. {She pulled herself of him, seeing his eyes. Austin put his cold hand on her cheek.} Kane: Doesn't the body get cold AFTER the person dies? Taker: Maybe they have the air conditioner cranked up too high in the room. {Debra clutched onto his hand so hard, never wanting to let him go. Weakly, he spoke to her.} Taker: Here we go - the deathbed soliloquy. {"I can't do...anything honey, nothing can...get me out of...this...I wish I...could come up with a plan,or...s-something to get me...out of this,but...I can't...Debra..."} Taker: Call your lawyer while you still can! Sue that stinkin' hospital for everything it's worth! {"Shh," Debra said. "Don't speak. I just want to savor this moment."} Kane: Don't most people only savor GOOD moments? Taker: Maybe to Deb, this IS a good moment. Kane: I'm going to tell her you said that. {She layed her body on top of his chest,} Taker: Austin's not a small man, but his chest isn't THAT big. {hearing his heartbeat once more. Each time the pauses were longer and each time the lifeline started to fade away.} Taker: He's dying, Spirit - we get the point! {Austin hugged Debra, letting out a huge sob, as Debra did too. Both were crying their hearts out, knowing what was coming. Debra didn't want him to go. Sure Austin sometimes treated her like trash, but that was on the camera. Once off he was so emotional.} Undertaker and Kane stare at each other with raised eyebrows. Kane: Austin ... emotional? Taker bursts into hysterical laughter. {She always asked what was wrong, but he never did tell her.} Taker (wiping tears from his eyes): How do you tell your wife that you've fallen in love with Vince McMahon? {He always treated her like a queen and hated to see her hurt, physically and emotionally.} Taker: Who would've guessed that the Rattlesnake was really just a big ol' teddy bear? {"Debra, I know...you will survive...without me...you are one...r-r-remarkable woman, that's...why I married you...Not for your looks, but...for your brain...} Taker: I bet that's the first time she's ever heard THAT one! Kane: That's cruel, man, even for you. Taker shrugs. {personality...ways...and...you...yourself...You are the only...girl for me...Debra..." "...and that's the bottom line," Debra finished, kissing him on the lips.} Taker: She's just insatiable! Kane: Her husband is about to die - cut her some slack. {His body started to turn cold, as the line went slower and slower. His body started to turn a snow white, his lips turning black, the blotches of blackness growing worse.} Taker: I never knew death could be so colorful. {Her tears started to rush more and more as she saw her husband fade away into Heaven. He had a good soul, he wasn't bad. He was a man to be known as a carring father,} Taker: Yeah, he always was willing to drive his daughters anywhere. Kane moans. {a loving husband, a dear friend, and a great wrestler. She didn't want him to go. Not now. She wanted him to live! Live dammit!} Taker: Austin, I command thee to live! {She wanted the two of them to live until they would die together, already lived a good life!} Taker: Unfortunately, Deb, you can't always get what you want. {But God had to interfear and take him away.} Taker: Oh well, at least the spelling has been consistent - consistently bad. {Debra wrapped her husband in a tight hug, never wanting to let go. She wanted to feel his touch, she wanted to hear his voice, she wanted to love him and never anyone else.} Taker: So I guess Deb will be joining a convent when Austin dies? Kane: I wouldn't count on it. {She wanted their girls to have a father to look up to and charish.} Taker groans. Kane: I didn't know Debra and Austin had kids together. Taker: They don't. {She wanted him, but that wouldn't be.} Taker (singing): You can't always get what you wa-a-nt. You can't always ... Kane: Stop it! You're NOT Mick Jagger! {"Don't leave me Steve," Debra sobbed through her tears, resting her head on his chest. "I can't live without you..."} Taker: Well, sweetheart, you really don't have much of a choice, do you? {"Shh...everything is fine...now..." Austin whispered with a gentle voice, lifting up his wife's head.} Taker: I can hear the angels now ... They're calling my name. Kane: You know, you're ruining a very touching scene. Taker: Would you like me to get you a tissue? Kane: Bite me. {"It doesn't...hurt...anymore...I'll be...okay."} Taker: No, you'll be dead. Kane growls. {"NO! Don't leave me Steve," Debra shouted, sitting up. "You're the only one I love! No one will take your place..."} Taker: At least not until Hunter ditches Steph. Kane: Knock it off! {"Shh," Steve whispered landing two fingers on her lips.} Taker: Landing? It sounds like he's bringing a 747 down on the runway. Kane: Do you HAVE to criticize everything? Taker: Sorry. I'm getting bored. Kane: We're almost finished. {He touched her face and whipped off some tears that were falling down her face onto the bed. Debra then held her husband in her hands, holding him close to her heart.} Taker: Is it just me, or is this death scene dragging on a little too long? Kane ignores him. {She didn't know how long he had to live, but for this moment time stopped. For this moment time was frozen. For this moment, time was unlimited. Time was not of the essence. For this moment...it was their moment.} Taker (singing): From this moment life has begun ... From this moment you are the one ... Right beside you is where I belong ... From this moment on ... Kane:Thank you SO much for ruining yet another song for me. I'll never be able to listen to Shania Twain again. {"So close no matter how far," Steve whispered as his lifeline started to fade, little by little. Debra heard those words. Those were the words that she and Steve loved to hear together. It was their own song, a song that she sang to him. And he sang to her.} Taker: Well, at least it's not Kumbaya. {"Couldn't be much more from the heart," Debra sobbed, the tears rolling down like a waterfall. Tighter she held her husband, and the weaker he came to be.} Taker: Yup, just like a woman - she's squeezing the life right out of him. {She bent her head down to his unforgettable blue eyes stare right back at her. Everything that was life on him was dead, but those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes were still full of life.} Taker: I'm surprised she didn't try to squeeze them, too. Kane moans. {Those bloodshot, crystal blue eyes that were his trademark.} Taker: Some Visine would take care of that, Steve. {"Forever trusting who we are..."} Taker: I still think Metallica does it better. Kane: Will you PLEASE SHUT UP?! Taker: I told you I'm bored with this. Kane: Well you're pissing me off. I would actually like to see how this ends. Taker: Fine. I won't say another word. {His lifeline had stopped,} Taker (standing up): Good. Austin's dead. Story's over. Now we can get the hell out of here. Kane (glaring at Taker): I thought you weren't going to say another word. Taker (sighing and plopping back down into the chair): Fine. {the sound of death echoing throughout the room.} Taker: I thought death was silent. Kane growls ... loudly. {But just as it had started, his last words, so incoherent, no one could hear it. But he muttered the words that were readable to the eye. And in this case, his wife's eyes.} Taker: Well, duh! Kane sticks his fingers in his ears to mute the sound of Undertaker's voice. Taker: What? You've been ripping on this story from the beginning, and now that we're finally at the end you're acting like it's Shakespeare. What gives? Kane begins humming loudly. Taker: Go ahead, ignore me. But just for that, you're footing the tab at the bar tonight. Kane continues humming. {With whatever strength he had left, he uttered his final 6 words on this Earth, "I will forever love you Debra."} Taker: Damn! Finally something Spirit's good at - she can count! {She felt his body turn into a cold shell, feeling his warm, gentle, stubborn, tough SOB spirit rise into the Heavens, taking his last breath on Earth.} Taker: I wonder if she can see dead people, too? {Her husband had died in her arms.} Kane sniffles. Taker: Kane, you're not actually crying, are you? How can you cry over this tripe? Kane (looking at Taker, his fingers still in his ears): Because unlike you, I actually have a heart. Taker rolls his eyes. {Debra layed her husband's corspe on the bed,} Taker: Corspe? Kane: CORPSE! BODY! That thing that walked around the earth for 36 years! Taker: Okay, calm down. Kane: Then stop nitpicking! I want to see how this ends! {covering the shell of his former soul with the sheets.} Taker: Isn't the soul eternal? Kane: SHUT UP and let me READ! {The tears had stopped, because her husband was right.} Taker: He's also dead. Kane stands up, stalks out of the living room, down the hall and into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. Taker: Damn! And I thought Steph had violent mood swings. {She would survive. But he will always be missed. By his friends, family, daughters, and most important of all his wife. She turned around, heading towards the door. But as she held onto the knob, ready to open it, Debra turned herself around once more to her husband's shell.} Taker: He's not a turtle, Spirit! It's a body - B-O-D-Y! {"No Nothing Else Matters."} Taker: Nope. Austin doesn't have a care in the world now. {And she turned the knob, went through, and closed behind her.} Taker: And went off to find a fan to flirt with. {Fin} Taker: Ah, Spirit, you constantly amaze me! You can't spell basic English words, but yet you somehow know that "fin" means "the end." Several minutes later Kane walks back into the living room, sniffling and dabbing at his nose with a Kleenex. Taker: Do you feel better now that you've had your little cry? Kane: It's my allergies! Taker: You're in an air-conditioned house - your allergies shouldn't be bothering you. Kane: Whatever. Do we have to hang around and wait for the others? Taker: I don't see why we should. I've done what I was summoned here to do. Kane: Good. Let's get out of here. I need a drink. Taker (standing up): Fine by me. I saw a bar not too far from here. Let's go check it out. Kane: Okay, but I'M driving this time! Taker (grumbling as he hands Kane the keys): Fine. As the two men walk into the kitchen, Chris Jericho opens the door and he and Chris Benoit enter the room, tripping over several beer bottles on the way in. Jericho: Hey guys! Sorry we're late. There was an accident on the interstate and it took FOREVER to get traffic moving again. Undertaker smirks at Kane, who rolls his eyes. Taker: No problem. We just finished up. Your assignment's on the desk in the living room. Have fun! As Taker and Kane walk past the other two men, the lights in the house flicker and go out. Benoit: What the? (The End ... finally!)