Title: "ROR: The Marking of Katie Vick" Author: Missy Part: 1 of 4 Rating: PG-13(Some mild sexual situations, language) Characters: Michael Manna (Steven Richards), ? (Bull Buchanan), Charles Wright (Goodfather), Sean Morley (Val Venis), Lisa Moretti (Ivory), Jerry Lawler (Same), Stacy Carter (The Kat) Cannon: Post-RTC, but the Kat and Jerry are still around; this is AU-ish. Take it as you can. Category: parody, humor, MiSTing Content: In MiSTing: Nothing much in the way of offensive material; a little salty language. In stories: Some mild sexual situations. Summary: The RTCer's mission to spread the "joy of purity" goes a wee bit awry when they're captured by The Kat and forced to read really bad spams and fanfics. They return for their second season of merry hijinks, as the Kat tries to figure out how to profit from Katie Vick's "Untimely death". Meanwhile, the RTCers play with their occu-puppets and try to get over Katie's untimely passing. NOTES: The story "Team X-Treme" By Lady Stephanie and its sequel are the property of their respective authors. I have permission to riff on this work (Thank you, Angela!). No infringement of their rights as authors are enacted here. Archical rights: Automatic archival at the BCE Archive, Kai's Page, Beyond Boundaries, Wrestlefic.com and Mirrors of Reality. All others may ask, send a URL, and provide full disclaimers as well as credit me fully. Please inform me if you are going to submit my work to any sort of search engine. Please do not submit my work to a search engine that picks out random sets of words and uses them as key words, such as "Google" Distribution rights: Please contact me in order for this story to be placed on an archive, or if you want know of a friend who would enjoy my works, please email me their address and I will mail them the stories, expressly for the purpose of link trading. MiSTiers are welcomed! Please do inform me that you'd like to do the MiSTing, however, and send me a copy of the finished product. I'd also love to archive any MiSTings that are made of my work! ***************** SEASON 2 THEME: VERSE 1: At your current time and laptop This second, AD There lives a gal named Kat, Whos' Ex-Husband is sort of funny VERSE 2: They were fired by Vince one sunny day And the pressures made them sort of go astray After a couple of loser dead-end jobs They decided to take their pain out the folks for whom they did the job! STEVEN: "That...means...usssssss!" VERSE 3: KAT: "We'll send them cheesy lemons, The most embarrassing stuff the net can print Jerry and I won't let go Until your minds take the fits." JERRY AND KAT: -Rednecky-: "La La La". VERSE 4: Now keep in mind the RTC ain't in charge Of how the fanfics begin or end They more than likely will lose their sanity Or worse yet, their ways will mend.. RIGHT...TO...ROLL..CALL STEVEN! (The Brains!) IVORY! (The Beauty!) VAL! (He was the Horny guy, remember?) GOODFATHER! (I am not Pappa Shango!) BUUUULLLLL! (I hungee!) VERSE 5: If you're wondering how it came to be that the RTC still conn-ects When in the real world they are broken up Well, you should sit back and relax For Right To Riff Theatre 4000 *guitar twang* (DOOR SEQUENCE: 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1: beneath the DS, we hear sad, dirgey organ music). -We open on the main bridge, and five figures, draped in black mourning outfits, standing in front of a pitch-black wreath. We only see the "mourners" from the backs of their heads down. One of them ascends to the pulpit, and pushes back the veil to his widow's weeds, revealing the face of the Goodfather- GOODFATHER: -under a soundtrack of sniffling sobs-: Brothers...sisters....puppets. We have gathered here today to mourn the passing of a vital member of our community...A wonderful person, without whom we would be worthless sacks of slime..." -He bends down and lifts a black-enshrouded placard to camera-level view. When he whips back the cloth, it reveals the phrase: "Good Taste: 80 Billion B.C.-2002"- "Yes, good taste in mainstream pro wrestling has croaked, along with Katie Vicks in the font seat of Kane's Chevrolet." VAL: -tearful-: "So sad!" -Steven blows his nose- GOODFATHER: "But we'll try to remember the good times, won't we? The carefully restrained performances of Bob Backlund...the icy cold morality of Bret Hart..." BULL: "Preach, brother!" GOODFATHER: "Does anyone have any fond words for our friend morality?" -Ivory raises her hand- "Come share with us, sister." -Ivory ascends the podium. She takes a long deep breath before saying-: IVORY: "My friend, morality, has always been there for me in this business. I remember that one, special moment: Vince wanted me to parade around in a string bikini while honking like a goose. And do you know what saved me?" STEVEN: "Morality?" IVORY: "No, a good claims attorney. But morality held my hand every step of the way, and I'll always be greatful!" GOODFATHER -reclaiming the pulpit as Ivory steps down-: "Burial will be in four minutes in the extra bathroom. Shoes are optional." -the 'Commercial sign' light begins to flash from his pulpit- "And We'll be right back." -He Hits it- (Logo and outro) (Commercials) (We re-open in the satellite's main console room. All are out of their weeds and milling about. Only Goodfather's absent.) STEVEN: -shouting-: "Do it quickly!" -we hear an off-screen flushing noise- IVORY: "Wait a minute: since when has wrestling ever been tasteful?" -There's a long, meaningful pause as the RTC-ers look to one another for confirmation. Steven hits the mads light- (HB) (The Kat is in her underwear, roller-skating. She finally comes to a stop, right before the camera) KAT: "Whoops! Hello, my fuzzy little duckies! Hey, what's up with the widow's weeds?" (SOP) STEVEN: "Didn't you hear? Morality's dead!" (HB) KAT: "Aww, that's old news, Steviecakes!" JERRY -arriving in a rather stunning thong ensemble; he has a mirror in one hand and an ice-cream cone in the other- "Yeah! Kitty and I have been breaking every decency code in the galactic area ever since word came down from Vince!" KAT: "We even have some Katie merchandising!" -She turns around and produces a Kane-shaped figure- (SOP) STEVEN: "What in the world is that?!" (HB) KAT: "It's a lighter!" -She flips a switch in his back, which cases a small flame to shoot up from the Kane figure's extended hand- "Just great for torching any left-over forensic evidence from your last 'criminal mischief' incident!" (SOP) -The group of RTCer's stare in blank disbelief at Kat and Jerry- (HB) KAT: "What?! It's practical! Every single ex-asylum patient with a cloudy past will want one!" (SOP) -More staring from the RTCers, only more horrified this time- (HB)) KAT: "You realize you're going to be punished for not laughing?" -They all nod- (HB) KAT: -sighing-: "Your next experiment is a little ditty called 'Team X-Treme. Try to count the number of times the word "bitch" is used in a sentence, and don't forget to enjoy the thong-stealing gag!" -she presses a button- (SOP) IVORY: "Bogarted tong?" -Goodfather renters; his very nice suit has been ruined by splashback from the hall closet- GOODFATHER: "We have to adjust that toilet's gravitational pull!" (Klaxon and lights go off) (SOP) VAL: "We'll worry about that later!!! Right now, we have easily-titled fic SIGGGN!!!" (All rush about in pandemonium as the camera surges through the first door) (DOOR SEQUENCE: 10: Several of Ivory's "Hollywood" Pin-ups from her GLOW days; they crumble away as you pass through 9: Papa Shango skull staff and beads. You drop a piece of dry ice into the hollow and are enveloped by the smoke. 8: Jackyl, the band, not the wrestler. They wander away, confused 7: Jackyl, the wrestler, not the band. You point out the way to Calgary and he leaves you be. 6: Mike Tyson, looking for a rematch with Kama Mustafah. You point out the closest route to the nearest principality that will allow him to box without a license and run before he chases after you. 5: A wall made out of stacks of many, many Val Venis porno flicks on videotape You charge right through. 4: Raven, who keeps asking "What about me?" You cold-cock him and run for it. 3: 4,000,0000 unsold NOD Teeshirts. You close your eyes and push past, pretending that that angle had never, never taken place 2: Stevie's old Daisy Dukes. You fold them up and drop them in the laundry hamper, uncovering.. 1: A Large PTC Symbol, which you break right through, leading you to the theater.)