****
 (They're seated from left to right: Steven, Ivory, Val, Goodfather, Bull.  Goodfather continues to wear his frightwig throughtout the fic.)

(Ivory and RTC celebrate.)
GOODFATHER: "...Only when we're released from Captivity..."
(Posted by Gangbang lover )
VAL: "Bleah!  Another one?"
BULL: "..And when he says that, you know it's a big deal."
(on November 03, 2001 at 23:52:03: )
IVORY: "...A crappy story was born.."
(November 2000, 7:32 PM)
STEVEN: "Its siamese idea, the lame idea, was created."
(*It was Thursday night and the RTC were watching )
GOODFATHER: "Friends and Survivor, like everyone else, in the comfort of our own homes!"
(Bull and Goodfather retain the Tag Team championships inside the white RTC van. )
BULL: "We're wrestling in the van now?  Vince has cut our fundings that much?!"
(After the match, Steven spoke.* )
VAL -Steven-: "Let there be krumkake!"
(Steven: We have been on a roll as of late. We censored the immoral Mr. Ass, captured two title belts, and have continued to spread the word of the RTC. Now we cap it off with a successful Tag Team title defense. I think this calls for a celebration! Right, Ivory? )
IVORY: "Right!...Ooops.."
BULL: "Hey, that was a good time, wasn't it?"
VAL: "Precious memories. Now we're screwed."
(Ivory: Yes Mr. Richards, we need to celebrate. )
STEVEN -Ivory-: "I'll ice the Smirnoff, you put on the Tony Bennett."
(*Ivory then rose her hands. )
GOODFATHER: "She's going to conjure something1"
BULL: "Remember, it's vi-vi-o-SAH, not viviosa..."
(This was the signal for the RTC to begin preparing Ivory for celebration. )
STEVEN: "Prepare for the Twinkie ritual!"
IVORY: "Geez, I feel like a virgin who's going to be sacrificed to a volcano."
(They removed her shirt and bra followed by her long skirt and panties revealing her wet pussy and nice tits for all of Right to Censor to see. )
BULL: -himself-: "Next time, we keep her clothes on and just pour a glass of water on the cat!"
(Ivory loved this celebrating. It was this that got her into the RTC.* )
VAL: -laughing-: "Not even close, narrator man..."
(Steven: Now that you are "dressed" for the celebration, we cannot forget the special accessories. )
IVORY -hands clasped-: "Please no ropes, please no ropes..."
(*Steven then pulled something shiny out of his pockets. )
GOODFATHER: "Oooh!  Bodyglitter." -the others look at him oddly, and he develops an intentionally deeper, more masculine voice- "What?  What?"
(It was handcuffs. )
IVORY: "Damn!  Close enough!"
(Every time Ivory celebrates, she loves to not have hands available to help and she loves the feeling of being helpeless even more. )
IVORY -after sighing heavily-: "I'm curious, guys; are there any men out there at all who actually want an equal, spontaneous and active partner?"
-They all raise their hands-
IVORY: "Good, I'm not crazy."
(So as Steven cuffed her hands to her back, )
BULL: "She began to fantasize about Bobby Simone.."
(she started to get wet. )
VAL: "...but she was already..."
STEVEN: "Stop questioning it, Val.  The less you do it, the better your head feels."
(Then she got on her knees as Steven pulled down his pants and pulled out his 9 inch cock.* )
STEVEN -tilting his head to the side-: "Not bad.."
(Steven: As that immoral group D-Generation X would say SUCK IT! )
-All snicker-
GOODFATHER: "Hey, that was actually almost funny.."
(*Ivory then obeyed Steven and started sucking on his cock. Even without her hands, Ivory swallowed all of Richards' cock and began to deep throat him. )
VAL: "Apparently, she doesn't need to breathe."
(As she was doing so, Goodfather and Val, the former pimp and pornstar got their 13 inchers out and approached Ivory. )
-Bull snickers at the very idea of his compatriots bearing such long lengths.  Both boys give him an annoyed look-
(The current (at the time) Women's champion didn't notice )
BULL: "My Lord!  Continuity's shown up again!"
(GF or Val until they jammed her on their unlubricated cocks at the same time. (GF in the ass, Val in the pussy) )
GOODFATHER: "And there the fic derails..."
VAL: -nodding wisely-: "Lube, folks; can't have anal sex very well without it."
(She came immediately after GF and Val impaled her on their cocks. )
IVORY: -Ivory-: "Must've poked my funny bone.."
(However, she got used to the DPing and sucking off the leader, Steve Richards and continued to get pleasured by the Right to Censor. )
STEVEN: "Which is the closest that SOME women will ever get to it.."
IVORY: "We know, we know..."
(In the corner watching the gangbang was Bull Buchanan stroking his 11 inch pal. )
BULL -incredulous-: "My 'pal'?"
IVORY: "Well, you guys like to pretend that they're animate objects!"
(He headed (no pun intended) over )
-All chuckle, a bit more mildly-
(and shoved his cock in Ivory's slut mouth and she began to suck off both Richards and Bull while getting double penetrated by Bull and Goodfather. She came two more times before any male RTC member shot their spunk. )
STEVEN: "Damn, and the fic was just getting a sense of humor about itself, too."
(She was handcuffed and had 46 inches of cock inside her and she loved every second of this )
IVORY: "...even with Steven's weiner poking out of her ear..."
(even though the RTC would publically find this demeaning, but everyone knows the RTC are hypocrites. )
STEVEN: -growling-: "Yeah, well, you're a lousy smut writer!  How do you like that?!"
(Finally, as the males were ready to cum, )
BULL -blinking-: That just doesn't sound right.  It sounds like a nature doccumentary.
VAL -narrator-: "And as the male RTCer comes to his climax, he throws his head back and shouts 'I Love Starch!'"
(Bull pulled out of Ivory's mouth and positioned his dick near Ivory's face. )
GOODFATHER: "Just rolling the turret gun into place..."
(Then, at the exact same moment, the male RTC member came. )
-All Blink-
BULL: "Y'all may be my brothers, but that's a little bit rediculous."
(Her ass and pussy holes were getting flodded with cum while she gulped down every last drop of Steven's cream. )
IVORY: "Aww, the story's got the shivers."
STEVEN: "I've always wondered whether I was pasturized or not.."
(Bull was shotting his load all over Ivory's face and hair which some of it dripped onto her tits.* )
VAL: "Shotted'.  The correct usage is 'shot'; and the past tense of 'cream' is creamed." -blows on his nails-
GOODFATHER: "Yeah, I'm so proud of your porno vocabulary."
(*This was by no means the end, all of the RTC members switched places. )
IVORY: "I'm starting to feel like a rotisserie chicken."
STEVEN -clearly nauseated-: "There's one more meal I'll never try."
(Bull now positioned himself in Ivory's pussy while Steven shoved his cock inside her ass.  Goodfather had his 13 inches down Ivory's throat )
GOODFATHER: "What is it with his size preoccupation?"
(and Val began to tit fuck her. This continued all night. )
VAL -cackling-: "Yeah right; like these amatures could go all night!"
GOODFATHER: "I have!"
IVORY: "Guys, don't talk about something you can't finish."
(Eventually, around 3 AM, Ivory who has came over 75 times and was filled with cum, passed out in pleasure. )
-Now Ivory's laughing-
IVORY: "I'm sure it's possible, but geez, 75 times?!"
STEVEN -snorting-: "You humble me, as always."
(However, RTC kept fucking her and smothering her in cum. )
ALL: -EEW!
(Finally around 6 AM, the male members of RTC had enough and fell asleep next to )
IVORY: "Their pile of Playboys.."
(the cum covered mass Ivory. )
BULL: "I think we spun her a chrysalis!" 
(When she woke up two hours later still handcuffed, she thought about the entire Right to Censor taking RAW off!* )
GOODFATHER -squinting at the screen-: "Take...Raw..Off..is that some sort of colloquialism I don't know about?"
(This was my first story, the build up kinda sucked but that was becuase the first (and better version) got deleted when I was about to post it.)
VAL: "Did the first version have more plot?"
STEVEN: "And your lesson for today is: always save your smut to a file before you post it."
(If you liked this story, I might do a group sex story about how Molly chose Hurricane Helms over Spike.) 
BULL: -blinking-: "Ouch, poor Spike."

IVORY -relaxing as she sees that the fic is over-: "You know, that one wasn't too bad; it's probably the best fic we've had yet.
STEVEN: "Yeah, at least this one involved consensual sex."
VAL: "Everything was pretty good.  Except for the cum chrysalis thing."
GOODFATHER: "I keep wondering what kind of people would star in fics like this...then I found something."
BULL: "What're you thinking about?"
GOODFATHER: "Follow me.."

(They exit the theatre
DOOR SEQUENCE:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10)

(The RTCers are gathered around a decoration-festooned windowlike object.)

GOODFATHER: "..And then I discovered that when I press this button the window irises out and then.." 

-he presses the button, the window does as he described, and we're surprised by the appearance of *dumdumdum*, another Steven, another Ivory, another Goodfather, another Bull and another Val!-

IVORY: "The hell?"
VAL: "They're...us!"
ALTER-IVORY: "Actually, we're you.  You just live in it," -She sticks her tongue out-
IVORY: "I sense that you're an alternate version of me from a world not unlike our own?"
ALTER-GOODFATHER: "Exactly, my fine lady friend.  You see, we're the horny. Nasty and oh-so-fine folks who play y'all in the many, many lemons in which you star."
VAL: "Astounding!"
STEVEN: "Ick!  So that was you in that crucifixtion/rape with hairbrush/heart-eating story I've heard so much about."
ALTER-STEVEN: "That was me; indeed; see this thing on my neck?"
STEVEN: "Yeah."
ALTER-STEVEN: "It's where my head got cut off last week."
STEVEN: "Geez!"
IVORY: "So what's it like to live a life of constant sex and wanton pleasure?"
ALTER-IVORY -emery boarding her nails-: "Eh, it's..OK.  You have to put up with the Wonder Mike stories and the strange fanboys, but it's not bad on the whole."
GOODFATHER: "We'll keep you guys in our thoughts."
ALTER-VAL: "We'll do the same for you; we share the same thoughts so it won't be too hard."
ALTER-GOODFATHER: "And if you ever want to visit.."
VAL: "Umm...We'll try to work it into our schedule."
-A tone rings off in the distance-
ALTER-IVORY: "Ahh, we've gotta go," -she reaches down and starts to untie her robe- :"We've gotta wrap up this orgy before ten.  Hey, catch you around sometime.."
IVORY: "Sure, sometime." -the window closes in on itself-
STEVEN -awkwardly-: "Wow...our...alters." 
-they all pause in silent reflection.-
VAL: "Let's not do that again."
-Commercial sign flashes on the console; Val presses it-
(COMMERCIALS)

(When we return to the SOP, all of the RTC-ites are gathered around the console, trying to mask their dissapointment.)

GOODFATHER: "I found these; they're sorta festive..." -he dumps a can of Pepsi and a pack of ho-hos onto the console.

-they contemplate it silently-

STEVEN: "So, this is...Christmas.."
VAL "Yeah, Christmas; a cup of soda and a ho-ho."
BULL: -sighing-: "IT isn't fair; it just isn't fair.."
STEVEN: "Aww, come on gang, let's cheer up.  Sure, we've spent the hollidays reading horrible stories about ourselves, and we're wearing stupid costumes for the amusement of our Mad Scientist, and our celebrations won't be as...festive...as usual...But we have each other..."
ALL: "Yeah.."
-moment of scilence-
STEVEN: "Screw this!  I wanna X-Box!" -He pouts.  The Mads light starts to blink, and he hits it with his forehead-

(KT; we're shocked to see Kat dressed as conservitively as possible, in a sweater set.  She's holding out a gift; we can see people milling around in the background.)

KAT: -woodenly and rehearsed-: "Hello, Steven and friends," -waves stiffly- "I have a gift for you." -she puts it into the Umbillicus tube feeder and presses a button.

(SOP; the gang recieves a package, which turns out to be...)

STEVEN: "An X-Box!!  You Got us an X-Box!"

BULL: "Wow, it is!"

IVORY: "What brought about your change of heart, oh, consumate evil one?"

KAT: "Change of heart?  Oh, nothing...Nothing at all."

THE WOMAN's VOICE: -vo-: "Kitty!  Are you done talking to your friends yet?  We're almost ready for dinner!"

KAT: - shouting offcamera-: "Just a second, Mom," -she looks into the camera and toughens up again- "Look, Shmucklets, I had a consumately evil Fourth act planned for you; it involved snuff fics and injecting eyeballs with bleach and a kid who talks like he's Mickey Rourke on testosterone shots.  But considering the spirit of the season...and the fact that my mother decided to drop by unnanounced, you're spared." -whispering- "Oh, and don't overuse that thing.  It's really my cousin's birthday gift." -she taps Jerry- "Press the button, and pretend that you still love me."

JERRY -into the camera-: "Whatever you say, my ho, ho,ho,"

-he presses the button-

(IRIS OUT, CREDITS, which play to the tune of the Barking Dog's Version of "Jingle Bells")

(AUTHOR'S NOTES: Bleah, what a workout for the sense of humor!  These were hard fics to work with, their general inaproprietness making everything a bit dicey for the Hollidays.  So I ended up backing off on the more extreme fic at the end and give everyone a little bit of a happy ending for this month's edition.

For More info, or to write a letter to the RTC-ITES, send an email to , himh@AOL.com

For more details, see my disclaimer at the beginning of the story.

AAAND..we're out!)

*guitar twang*

STINGER: Dreaming the impossible dream: "Eventually, around 3 AM, Ivory who has came over 75 times and was filled with cum, passed out in pleasure."