**** (The Sit, from left to right: Steven, Val, Goodfather, Ivory, Bull) BULL -picking at her new, pronounced bosom-: "I've got this stuff all over my suit. STEVEN: "That's what people all over the world are saying right now." -Bull Gives him an odd look- (Right To Censor & Terri) IVORY: "Did I miss another of Vince's talent conferences?" GOODFATHER: "Nah, if you were canned, you'd know." -darkly- "Oh, how you'd know..." (by Roberto) VAL: "A new fragrance by Prince Machivelli." STEVEN: "Fabio's pervy younger brother?" (As Steven Richards pulled Terri back from flashing her tits at the crowd on Raw one night, ) BULL: "Woah, that happened more than once?" STEVEN -shaking his head-: "No, it was once, I'm positive." IVORY: "...He invited her to a spirited bit of dialouge in his online chat salon?" (she whispered in his ear ) VAL -Terri-: "You're on my toes, numbnuts!" STEVEN -Terri-: "Have you tried 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'?" IVORY: -Terri-: "Pull UP, you idiot! I get a couple of hundred per nipple per show!" GOODFATHER: -Terri-: "I just wanted to say." -suddenly shouting-: "STAYYYYYYY!!" ("Bring Bull and Goodfather into the ladies locker room for some fun.") BULL: "What, we're going to play Chutes and Ladders?" VAL -disgustedly-: "That's your idea of a good time?" BULL: "It's more fun than riffing this fic!" -All mutter in agreement- STEVEN: "Wait a minute, I don't get this; it's set around the first time I appeared..this way..but it involves you two? I didn't start brain wash...er, think to invite you into the group for another four weeks or so!" GOODFATHER: "I think Roberto was just looking for an excuse to write a threesome." shrugs (Steven secretly hated doing this gimmick becuase he would have liked to see Terri's puppies that night, ) IVORY -amused-: "Why Steven! I didn't know you cared!" * chuckles * STEVEN -rolling his eyes-: "Terri's not my type of girl. The guy has no idea what he's talking about." BULL: "Aw, come on, Steven! You like 'em breathing and equipped with at least one hole!" STEVEN: "Do not!" BULL: "Do too!" VAL: "Boys, do me a favor; don't fight anything but the fic." (just thinking about Terri waiting in her locker room made him rock-hard.) IVORY -muttering-: "First she takes my spot, then she owns the locker room." BULL -conversationally, like a gossiping biddy-: "I heard she put in a hydroponic garden, dontchaknow?" STEVEN: "I'm just pleased that no one made the obvious Rock joke." VAL: "Well, everyone knows that he's Duane's brother, so that's not necessary." -Steven snorts in response- ( It was about 9:20, ) BULL: "Over in RVD's locker room, however, it's ALWAYS 4:20." IVORY -Jamacian-: "Yeah, mon." (and Raw's taping was nearly finished, ) STEVEN: "Damn, we had to give an entire hour and forty-five minutes back to TNN? What did Vince do, show his ass again?" VAL: "No, he wrote this before the network switch took place." (so he told Bull and Goodfather that they should go. ) IVORY: "...Track Vince down and ask him where all of the prime TV Time's gone for us midcarders.." VAL: -Steven-: "Now, Goodfather, don't forget to keep an eye on your brother! Make sure he doesn't lose his mitten at the roller rink!" (Steven knocked on the door and asked for Terri.) GOODFATHER: "If You want me?" STEVEN: "I'd already be banging on the pipe by now.." IVORY: "Geez, it's like he's asking for a cigarette or a dirty magazine." VAL -Steven, conspiritory-: "Mooey sent me." (Trish Stratus responded with a come in. ) IVORY: "..And a come-on!" BULL: "Too cute!" (Surprised by the fact that Trish answered they walked in. ) STEVEN: "Bah! There's another break with reality! Terri's very well-known for her vocal impressions." VAL: "Have you ever heard her Fat Albert?" (Steven was even more surprised by what he saw when he walked in. ) BULL: -Steven-: "The entire reunited cast of After MASH?! For me?!" IVORY: "Terri's pussy..cat?" GOODFATHER: "A fleet of lawyers waiting to administer a paternity test?" (Trish in a very short black skirt, and Terri in a short white skirt that you could see her thong through. ) STEVEN: "Aww! Is that all? Man, this author isn't even trying." BULL: "He's trying, all right; to get to the smut as soon as possible." GOODFATHER: So Trish and Terri get the "Flirt" catalog, too?" IVORY: "I've heard of them! I used to get my leather boustiers from there!" STEVEN: "Guys? Fic?" ("Oh, hi guys" said Terri. ) ALL: "Hi" GOODFATHER: "Should we start listing our sexual histories, or what?" ("We were about to start without you". ) IVORY: "Brace for porn, guys." -All brace; especially Val, who looks like he misses the stuff. (Right after that Terri pulled up her short skirt so that you could see) STEVEN: "Her ham hocks?" (her nice white thong in the front, then started doin a seductive dance. ) STEVEN: "Same difference." VAL: "With no music? That's gotta be awkward." GOODFATHER: "I keep picturing her doing the Stomp, for some reason." (Trish then followed pulling up her skirt and revealing her pink thong.) IVORY: "..A detail they would have already known about, since the skirt was previously described as being see-through." STEVEN: "Well, that's as erotic as a car wreck." VAL: "It reminds me of Mary Catherine Gallagher running around with her skirt half-mast." GOODFATHER: "And if we're lucky, they'll do a pratfall right through a few tables and put us out of our misery." (As Bull, Goodfather, and Steven gazed at their perfect asses, ) IVORY: "So they're dancing around in circles? Did I miss the moment where they all took a nice large toke out of RVD's stash?" STEVEN: "I feel like I'm at an acid test. Soon they're going to start playing The Dead." (rock-hard, ) VAL -confused about the previous paragraph-: "Their asses were...they...huh?!" GOODFATHER: "I think we're supposed to be rock-hard." STEVEN -looking at his own lap-: "Not even close." (they both took off their tanktops to reveal their near-perfect breasts. ) BULL: "Hold it! Wait a minute! No tank tops were previously mentioned!" GOODFATHER: "My fantasy's ruined! Boo!" (Terri then pulled down her thong and got on all fours in front of Bull. ) IVORY: "Oooh! She's presenting! That must mean she's in heat!" BULL: "So she wants to give me a pony ride." (She unzipped his black slacks and pulled his cock out in front of her face. ) STEVEN: "Well, where else was it supposed to go? Right through her face." BULL: "That would be prefferable." IVORY: "Wait..she's on all fours..which direction is she facing in? And how can she be on all fours and still unzipping his pants?" VAL: "Ivy, you're thinking about the fic. You're just supposed to get turned on by the naughty words and forget about whether or not Terri Runnels just defied the laws of physics and bilocated." ("Want me to lick you up and down, big boy?" asked Terri. ) BULL: -nebbish-: "Yes, I like it very much." STEVEN: "Big Boy! Damn, what I'd give for a good burger right now..." ("Yeah, do it" replied Bull. ) IVORY: "Like he'd respond any other way. He's a MAN." -she holds up her hand in defense- "No harm intended, boys." (She started sucking on Bull's cock as Trish walked over with out anything on ) VAL: "Another masterful restatement of the obvious!" (and started licking Terri's pussy from behind. ) GOODFATHER: "Which is pretty damned uncomfortable for her; you pull your neck and you twist your upper arm..." (Steven couldn't stand it ) BULL: "He was stuck in a bad sex fic and knew it." (and got behind Trish and stuck his small cock in her ass from behind. ) -Steven stares at the screen for a good long moment while the others suppress their giggles- STEVEN: "...small...small...IT IS NOT SMALL! I can prove it, I'll.." -Val Restrains him- VAL: "Easy, Tiger." (Trish moaned with pleasure. ) GOODFATHER: "She's getting herbal essenced!" (The Goodfather couldn't stp his urges ) IVORY: "His engine needed a complete overhaul.." (from watching the orgy ) VAL: "Whatever kind of urges those would be; boredom, disgust, vauge discombobulation.." (as he stuck his cock in his hand ) STEVEN -wincing-: "Ouch!" BULL: "It's the ultimate splinter!" (and started beating off. ) IVORY: "OK, I vote no Little Drummer Boy Riffs." BOYS: "Agreed." (Bull was about to cum ) GOODFATHER: "...but he needed three forms of ID and a copy of his birth certificate to do so..." (and he told Terri so she stood up ) BULL: -snickering-: "Is she taking me to the bathroom?" ((Trish had stopped licking by then), ) VAL -gasps-: "The author ACTUALLY CLOSED A PLOT POINT!" (and bent over in front of Bull. ) STEVEN: "But if he's already going to...er..cum...wouldn't he have..already.." (Bull rammed his huge dick into her perfect ass, ) IVORY -wincing-: "LUBE!" GOODFATHER: "And plenty of it!" VAL: "I hope someone gets Terri a nice doughnut pillow after all of this is over." (and began a rythym, where he would ram and she would moan. ) GOODFATHER: "..so that they sounded like a dirty squeaky toy." (Steven had Trish bent over in front of him and her tits were bouncing and she was moaning up a storm. ) BULL: -blinking-: "Wait a minute; what are you doing to her, Steven?" STEVEN -holding out his hands-: "I really don't want to know." (There was a slight gap between Terri's mouth and Trish's mouth as they were face to face. ) IVORY: "And so a rope suspension bridge was buit between their noses to insure that their lice would continue to have happy, healthy homes." (So Goodfather walked up and stood with his cock in between them. ) STEVEN: -Goodfather-: "See my pretty rooster?" (They both started sucking on each side of it, as the Goodfather said ) GOODFATHER: -himself-: "You're not getting the head!" THE OTHERS: "Brother Goodfather!" GOODFATHER -sheepish-: "Sorry" ("I never got this treatment even when I was a pimp!". ) VAL: "So that makes you a fairly virginal pimp, doesn't it, my friend?" (Bull then shot streams into Terri's ass ) STEVEN: "..her pubic lice promptly began to enjoy their new lakefront property." (as he fell back down onto a chair. ) IVORY: "...once again rending the fabric of logic!" GOODFATHER: "And, if this characterization is right, start sucking his thumb". (Terri remained bet over sucking Goodfathers cock, ) VAL: "She had a good $4.50 riding on how long she could tolerate the sensation of her jaw being pried apart." (and decided to stick her fingers in her pussy. ) BULL: -shrugging-: "Since she didn't have anything better to do. She could be doing her taxes, you know!" (Terri was banging herself ) STEVEN: "..which is technically impossible, as banging usually has to involve another person." (and she was moaning on GF's cock making him moan. ) IVORY: "The author threw a new character in this late in the game?!" (Trish was licking his sack ) GOODFATHER: "...all she could taste was flour.." (with Steven still in her ass. ) VAL: -snapping his fingers-: "So THAT'S where I left you!" -Steven shakes his head and sinks down in his seat- (Steven then came in Trish's ass and sat down on the floor. ) STEVEN: "Oh, what, I'm PROTESTING her ass or something?!" GOODFATHER: "What do we want?" ALL: "PLOT!" GOODFATHER: "When do we want it?" ALL: "NOW!" (GF was about to cum as Terri did too. ) IVORY: "...which never really ever happens in real life, but when it does, it probably really is that incoherent." (Goodfather came all over their mouths as Terri came all over her hand. ) IVORY: -snorting-: "Well, she went to all of that trouble for nothing! She could've spent five minutes with a vibrator and gotten the same result!" GOODFATHER: "You're saying my grand total worth is that of a vibrator?" IVORY: "No, I'm talking about the FICTIONAL you." (Trish and Terri kissed, and the GF sat down. ) STEVEN: "Well, so much for that whole big seduction ploy." BULL: "Hey, I feel used!" GOODFATHER: "Well, not nearly as used as Trish'a hand." (Terri started licking Trish's pussy to make her cum. ) IVORY: "Geez, Roberto knows nothing about forplay." -the guys blush- (The whole RTC were sitting there beating off watching. ) -all look at each other, just to confirm the lack of truth in this statement- (Trish was rubbing her own nipples making her moan even louder. ) VAL: "Too hard, apparently.." IVORY: "You're supposed to stop when the skin peels, Trish.:" (Trish started to cum, so terri actually bent over in front of Trish and rubbed their pussied next to each other till Trish came in Terri's ass. ) -All Blink at that statement and stay silent for a good long moment. STEVEN: "So Trish is a shemale now?" IVORY: "Either that or he's talking about female ejaculate, which still doesn't ever shoot that far..." -she blushes- (Steven and his cronies thanked the ladies and then left out the door. ) BULL: "Damn, we didn't even buy them flowers or nothin?' GOODFATHER: "Nah, it was drive-through sex; five seconds to order, five minutes to enjoy, Four seconds to forget." (Terri and Trish went to the showers for probably another hour of pussy-lickin fun. ) STEVEN: "Which makes you wonder why they bothered with us in the first place. I mean, how useful WERE we there?" (Its just another case of wrestlers gimmicks aren't as they seem. ) VAL: "...or of fanfics not living up to their billing." GOODFATHER: "Well, that was pretty pointless." IVORY: "I'm amazed that he remembered to use the correct anatomical refferences. He lost me on most of those position transferrs." STEVEN: "So what did we learn?" BULL: "Oh! I know! That a vibrator's more useful than three man in bed when the chips are down!" -all of the guys send him an icy glare- VAL: "I feel like I need to prove my worth. Excuse me for a moment," -he pushes his way out of his seat and down the asile. Shrugging, his compatriots follow him- (DOOR SEQUENCE: ) (Steven and Ivory sit down, sharing a cup of coffee) STEVEN: "So, Mrs. Clause, do you really think that it's advisable to judge a gimmick by its cover?" IVORY: "Of course not, Mr....er, Elf." -she sipps her coffee- "If I were exactly like my gimmick, I wouldn't even be able to curse, gosh darnit!" STEVEN: "Ah. Bon mot, bon mot, Mrs. Clause." -Val suddenly enters the picture from stage left, panting. He's dressed exactly as he used to for his Val Venis gimmick- VAL: "Hellloooo, Mrs. Clause!" -Ivory blinks up at him- VAL: "Don't you find me...irrisistible?" IVORY: "Gosh darn, no; now snickerdoodles, those I find irrisistible!" VAL: -sputtering-: "But the thing, with the wiggle, and the hips, and the..." -he makes a motion with his hips- IVORY: "You know, you remind me of my favorite friend. He's plastic and I call him Oscar." STEVEN: "Really? I call my blowup doll Irma!" IVORY and STEVEN: "Small world!" -Val stands there and sputters catatonically for a moment- -Ivory sighs and looks up at him- IVORY: "Oh very well; yes, Val, I find you attractive. Now go put your elf suit back on." VAL: "Why?" (Bells start to jingle, snow starts to fall and klaxons go off) IVORY: "Cause we've got fic SIGGGGNN!!" (All Rush around in pandemonium) (Door sequence)