I haven't done one of these in a while but I came across the worst fanfic 
ever and just had to mist it. Enjoy!
*********************************

"Why did Vince want to meet us here?" Christian asked, looking around the 
dingy room.

"I don't know, but the dampness in here can't be good for my hair," Edge 
said, running his fingers through his blonde locks.

"Stephy," Kurt whined, "it's dark in here, and I'm scared."

"Shut up. I'm sure Daddy has a perfectly good explanation for wanting to meet 
us here in the basement of the Compaq center!"

"Well, I don't know about Daddy, but good old Uncle Mick sure does," a voice 
said behind them.

"Mick!? Why are you here? We fired you! I'm calling security!"

"Not so fast little one." Mick walked over to her, taking the cellphone out 
of her hand. "I have a little treat for all of you that I think you'll 
enjoy!" Mick grinned his toothless grin, causing the occupants in the room to 
shudder. "Just sit down, relax, and enjoy the show!" He quickly escaped from 
the room, locking the door behind him. 

Kurt ran to the door, trying to open it to no avail. "Let us out!" He cried, 
banging on the door.

"It's no use," They heard Mick's voice say. "No one can hear you down here!"

"Where is that coming from?" Edge said, looking around.

"Dude, I think we're locked in here," Christian said.

"No shit," Stephanie said as she began to pace. "Don't worry, Daddy will find 
us. I have faith in him." Just then, the lights went out. A scream came from 
Kurt Angle as he grabbed onto the closest person to him, which just happened 
to be Stephanie. 

"Get off me," She growled. Suddenly, a giant screen came down from the wall, 
illuminating the room in a ghostly glow.

A cycle of Pain and Love
By: Meredith

"Oh no, no, no, no!" Edge wailed.

"It can't be, it just can't," Stephanie said, shaking her head.

"BAD FANFIC!!" They screamed as Mick Foley's hideous laughter came through 
the speakers.

["Promise to write me every day?" I whispered, still falling into his 
embrace. "I promise. And if Pete harasses you, you know where I'll be."]

Kurt: Oh god. Please tell me this isn't a posse fic.

Stephanie: Don't worry Kurt, just lean on me, be strong. We can get through 
this.

[He laughed shortly under his breath. I nuzzed my nose on his chin, soon 
hearing his mom call him to the car.]

Edge: Nuzzed? What is a nuzz?

Kurt: Sounds nasty.

Christian: Dude, what a dork. He still lives with his mom.


["RODNEY LEINHARDT! GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS CAR!" She screamed, laughing 
half-way. "That's my mom.......Bye Britney."]

Stephanie (singing): Oh baby, baby. 

Kurt: Don't tell me this is a Britney Spears crossover fic.

["Bye Rodney......" I felt tears in my eyes, showing right through.]

Edge: Right through what? Her skin? Her clothes?


["Don't cry Brits. That's the last thing I need to think about on the road."]

Christian: His mom goes on the road with him? I always knew there was 
something funny about those posse guys.

[ He kissed me gently on the cheek, and walked to his car. I stood there, 
arms crossed, as the dust from the road trailed over me. I felt my face turn 
to the ground, and my eyes pour out.]

Stephanie: Sick! Is this turning into some sick twisted horror fic?

[Pete, Jason, Tammy, and Carm watched from a little ways down the road. They 
knew it. It was just two days ago, that I had fallen in love with him.
And I was positive. I'd been with him since I was a baby in the hospital.]

Edge: I thought that was illegal in the United States?

Christian: They could have at least waited till they got her home before 
pawning her off to a posse member.


[He's been my big brother. As well as the Posse. Sure, Pete was my cousin,] 

Kurt: Now this is getting really twisted. She's in love with her brother?

Stephanie: Pete has a cousin?

[but I was an only child and I had no sisters or brothers to fight with.]

Christian: Dude, isn't Rodney her brother?

[I grew up with these people. And now, after 16 years, we're falling apart. 
I can remember everything that had happened in the past.]

Edge: Most people can, unless it was the sixties.

[Carm's beating father]

Christian: Beating what?

Edge: What do you think?

[and how she stayed with the McMahons for awhile.]
Stephanie: She did?


[How Pete got the goods on my dad, and how the divorce started. How Jason 
always thought we had cooties. I laughed to myself, and spun around, heading 
back to my house. "AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, waking up from the ring of 
the phone.]

Christian: Did I miss something here? When did she fall asleep?

Kurt begins to cry.

Stephanie: Shhh, it's ok Kurt, it's just bad fanfic. It won't last forever, 
you can make it through this.

[The answering machine got it before I could. "Yo Brits....it's me.....Pete. 
Look you wanna do me a favor?]

Christian: A sexual favor? I like those.

[I'm sure. OK. This is really short notice but I need you to take Rodney out 
for an hour tomorrow]

Edge: Correct me if I'm wrong, but, didn't Rodney just leave to go on the 
road?

. [His birthday's round the corner and I thought you could hang out with him 
for awhile while we set up for a surprise party. All you gotta do is show up. 
See ya cuz." "END OF MESSAGES." "SHHHIIIITTTTTTTT!" I groaned out loud. 
"GIRL! GO TO BED! YOUR SO LOUD!"]

Kurt: You know, I've read some bad fanfic in my time…

Stephanie: You have?

Kurt: I mean, I haven't. I just meant out of all the fic I've never read, 
this is the worst.

[I could hear Carm yelling from her room. She was always a little cranky 
when it comes to sleep. Besides, she had her Italian class in the morning. I 
reached for the phone, quickly dialing Pete's number, and being quiet. 
"Hello?" The line on the other end said.]

Edge: I didn't know lines could talk.

Christian: I think this is her feeble attempt at sci-fi.

["Pete. I'll do it." "OK Cuz. Juz pick him up at my house tomorrow, 
alright?" "OK." I yawned a little, and hung up the phone, immeditaly followed 
by Carm and Tammy attacking me with their pillows.]

Christian: (makes cheap porno music sounds.)

Kurt: Hey, maybe this won't be so bad after all!

Stephanie hits Kurt.

[ I laughed and pushed them out of the way. "I'm going to bed calm down." The 
girls nodded in approval and hit me one more time. Soon, we were all knocked 
out.]

Edge: Yeah, those pillow fights really drain my strength. 

[Next morning was a hetic one. Carm and Tammy were crabby as usual and 
blaming *ME* for making them that way.]

Stephanie: I'd blame you too for putting me in this awful fanfic.

[I shruggedi toff.]

Edge: Ever heard of spell check?

[Hopefully, they weren't gonna be like that at the party. I wasn't too 
casual. Infact, it was just flares and a tanktop.]

Stephanie: You never dress casual in Greenwhich. Flares and a tank top? 
Please. Get this girl some Prada heels, a Gucci bag and an Armani dress.

[Nothing much. Anyway, I set off on my trip at noon. The drive seemed like 
forever, but in time, I got to Pete's house and picked up Rodney After about 
two hours of fun,]
Christian: See now, that was a perfect chance to throw in some sex but 
instead, she just says "fun"

Edge: Would you honestly want to read a sex scene that she wrote?

[I got a page from Pete. I was having such a good time. Rodney and I just 
talked about what had happened all these years. There was laughs, tears, 
hugs, and everything you could imagine. No no that KIND of everything.]

Kurt: Why not?? 

[But it was fun. Rodney hadn't changed at all.]

Stephanie: I didn't expect him to since you just seen him last night.

[Same corny sense of humor. Well, back to what's going on. We went back to 
Pete's house. Opon arriving, I got another page from Pete. HE WASN'T READY! I 
had to stall Rodney for a tad bit longer. "Well, I guess I should be going 
in......." Rodney reached for the door. I saw Pete giving the "1 minute" 
finger in the window.]

Edge: Is that the same one minute finger that Austin has perfected?

["RODNEY!" I ran infront of him and bit on my bottom lip.]

Kurt: Ouch.

["Brit? What?" "We could go see a movie or something!" "In a second. Let me 
get some things." "Wouldn't yo....." "Britney move....."
"Rodney.....ummmmmmm..........."]

Christian: (screaming) Too many qoutations…brain overloading….

[I said grabbing his white shirt, and placing my lips on his. Thankfully it 
worked. I ran my arms up, and around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss 
deepened every so often, which including tounge lashing]

Stephanie: You've been a bad, bad, boy Rodney. To the dungeon! Twenty tongue 
lashings for you!!

Edge: (in a high pitched voice) No!! No Steph..not…not…the tongue lashings!!
[and pulling closer. My lips pushed hard against his and I moaned in his 
mouth.]

Kurt: Not an easy feat when you're giving a tongue lashing.

[I can't believe I was kissing him. BIG MISTAKE.]

Stephanie: Big mistake is right, he's practically her brother! Ewww!

[I soon heard a wolf whistle and I pulled away from Rodney. Still in the 
same position, arms around neck and arms around waist. "Well. Well. Best 
friends haven't seene achother for 10 years and already they're getting it 
on."]

Kurt: Damnit!! They saw each other last night!! Scroll up! Read it! Last 
night! In the car…they…she….oh god….(breaks down into tears)

Stephanie: Shhh, don't cry baby, it's almost over. I promise. We'll get 
through this.

[Sean laughed from the door. "Shut up Morley." I smacked him in the chest. 
"Ooooooo Frisky are we?"]

Christian: THREESOME!!

Edge: Oh no! Slash alert!

Stephanie: There will be no slash in this fic damnit!

["Sean......NO! Not at all. Go fetch some latino women or something." Rodney 
laughed and Sean gave him a glare. We proceeded inside the house, taking 
caution not to trip down the dark basement steps. I saw the lit candles 
glowing brightly and I smiled.]

Stephanie: I thought this was a birthday party, not a sÃ(c)ance.

[Rodney was right behind me. I could feel his khakis brush across the back 
of my head.]

All: HUH?

[There was a sudden "SURPRISE!!" immediatly and Rodney and I both jumped. He 
smiled brightly.]

All four sit in silence as the screen goes black. 

Edge: That's it? It ends right there? Not that I'm complaning but, god…that 
made no sense.

Christian: None of it made sense.

Stephanie (to Kurt): It's ok Kurt, it's all over, you can open your eyes now. 

Kurt sits up slowly, wiping the tears from his eyes. They all stand up and 
walk towards the door.

"Not so fast," They hear Mick's voice say. "There's more where that tasty 
little chapter came from. Sit back down in those chairs. You're not getting 
away with just one chapter. You're asses are sitting through the whole thing 
so stay tuned! The worst is yet to come!" His laughter fills the room once 
again as the four look at each other with fear in their eyes. 

"I'll get you for this Foley!" Stephanie screams. "You won't get away with 
this!"