*blinks* What's this? A MiSTing fic by Brooke? Can it be? Yes, it's true. I finally managed to get another fic started! I've got one of those hilarious Trek crossovers on the backburner, but this one was too bad to resist. Enjoy! Title: The House on Hardy Hill Author: Brooke Email: evylbytch@hotmail.com Rating: Ummmm...how do I rate these things? I'd say R. Content: light slashy references by muses, lots of weird, nasty stuff within the fiction. You were warned. Disclaimer: These muses are mine, but the people they are based on are not. The original story belongs to Star and Stephanie Radtke, and I mean them no disrespect by writing this. Distribution: Ask and ye shall receive Summary: Halloween night in Hardy mansion Note: If you want to know about the freaks narrating this thing, visiting http://www.geocities.com/brookiesboyz They're nuts, I swear. Note: Here goes nothing. Be gentle, and any pointers would be appreciated! Note: Story parts are within < > 's. Hardy Mansion By Star &Stephanie Radtke *Roll Call* *Hunter raises his hand*: Here...yet again. *Shane looks up, sighing*: Here, too. *Vince yawns as he plops down in a chair* Here, but don't know why the hell I am. No one can get a word in edgewise with you two. *Shane and Hunter glare at him* *Mark grumbles under his breath unintelligbly* *Jeff plops down in Mark's lap and bats his eyes at him* Heya, Marky. *Mark blinks and shoves him off his lap* *Jeff yelps as he crashes to the floor* *Vince sighs*: Children, can we please get on with this? *Shane eyes him*: Do you really want to? *Vince nods*: No sense in prolonging the horror. *Shane groans*: Oh, God! Not even the first sentence and already there's no subject-verb agreement! *Hunter grins*: Angel...that's an original name... *Shane eyes him and looks back at the screen* *Mark rolls his eyes*: Oooh, how ominous. *Jeff blinks*: Is this a scary story? *Hunter looks ahead*: The only thing scary is the chick's plot. *Jeff blinks again*: Can I sit in your lap, Marky? *Mark growls*: Stop calling me that! And no! You can't! *Jeff grins*: I like purple nailpolish. *All stare at him* *Jeff blinks*: What? *Mark rolls his eyes*: Blood doesn't even dry that dark. *Shane blinks*: Know a lot about blood, do you? *Mark glares at him* *Hunter shrieks*: HARDY MANSION!?! *Shane snorts*: Hey, this story is in the future! *Vince shakes his head*: It's not very good party etiquette to send the invitations a few days before the party. It's customary to give the guests at least a week to clear their schedules. *Hunter rolls his eyes*: Thank you, Mr. Emily Post. Shane: Good to know the mysterious sender of the inviation is consistent with his or her blood red ink. *Shane blinks*: Did anybody else understand that last sentence? The house is dark even though the late afternoon sunlight is pouring in through the windows? How is that possible? Hunter: In the imagination of a star-struck 15 year old, anything is possible. *Shane rolls his eyes*: Let me guess. Andrew Martin? Hunter: How unoriginal. *Jeff makes a face*: How gross! *Shane nods*: Amen to that. <"Andrew you fucking dumb ass you could've given me a goddamn heart attack!" Angel snaps punching Andrew in the shoulder.> Vince: That girl certainly has a potty mouth on her, doesn't she? *Hunter rolls his eyes*: Oh, pot...this is kettle. You're one to talk, Vinnie. Vince: Don't call me that. <"Sorry but it was so funny just doing that. You're no fun cause you don't scream." Andrew says laughing.> *Mark blinks*: Don't let it ever be said that Andrew Martin isn't a sick, sadistic psycho. Hunter: HEY! That's my tag-line! <" Too bad. You know I don't scare that easily. I should slap you for that. How the hell did you get in here any way?" Angel asks putting her hands on her hips. " I used your spare key." Andrew says innocently. "I don't have one. Busted, spill. Did Sandra or the Hardy's give you their keys?" Angel says stabbing her sharp fingernail into his chest.> Shane: So, Sandra...who ever she is...and the Hardys live there too? Hunter: So much for not having spare keys. *Jeff frowns*: I'm confused. *Mark eyes him*: What's new? <" Sandra did." Andrew says knowing the result. "I'm gonna kill that bitch." Angel mutters to herself. "Why? It was her idea that I scare you." Andrew says defending her. "Really? Why don't I believe you? Maybe cause you always say that? Or because this is the tenth time you've done this, this month! Just because Halloween is two fucking days away doesn't give you permission to scare the fucking shit out of me!" Angel snaps at Andrew.> Shane: Somebody needs some Prozac. *Vince shakes his head*: Prozac is an anti-depressant, not an anti- psychotic. *Hunter blinks*: You seem to know an awful lot about prescription drugs. *Vince blinks innocently* <"Damn ok I won't do that again. Damn if I'd known you'd snap like this I would've never fucking did this." Andrew says stepping away from Angel. "Good for you." Angel says with an attitude.> *Hunter does his best surfer accent*: Oooh, she's sportin' the 'tude! <"Well considering the fact that you're mad at me I guess I should leave with out giving you what I came here to give you." Andrew says as he turn to head for the door. "I'm not mad at you I'm just annoyed at you trying to scare me, whatchya got for me?" Angel asks putting her hand on his shoulder.> *Shane speaks in his most seductive voice, crooning at Hunter*: Whatchya got for me, big boy? *Hunter grins*: All that you can handle and more. *Vince stares at them*: All right, stop it. Stop it now. <" It's nothing really. I should go anyway..." Andrew says staring to walk towards the door. "Hell no I ain't letting you leave until you give what ever it is to me. You never should've said anything cause now I won't shut up until you give it to me, so you might as well just give it to me. Besides that you know that I am mad at you cause you forgot my birthday." Angel says putting her hand on his shoulder and turning him to face her.> Mark: That is one high maintenance bitch! *Hunter nods*: Give it to her already so she's shut up! <"I know, I didn't forget I just couldn't give it to you on your birthday cause it hadn't gotten here yet. But it's here now and well here." Andrew explains as he hands Angel a small ring box. Angel takes the box and opens it. Inside is a Claddagh ring, Angel saw it on Buffy the Vampire Slayer a long time ago and wanted the ring ever since.> *Hunter groans*: Please...no...not Buffy...anything but Buffy. *Jeff grins*: I like Buffy. She's pretty. *Vince glares at him then shouts*: All right, who let him out of his cage!?! *Jeff blinks* < Angel looks up and Andrew and can't say anything and smiles at him.When she finally finds her voice she only says " Thanks." > Mark: Oh, but she sure was running her mouth a minute ago. Hunter: That's continuity for you. <"Well I'd better go I've got some homework to do and well I don't want to be in your way." Andrew says as he turns to walk out the back door of the house. "Andrew wait. Really thank you for the ring it's the best present I got this year and I'll always wear it and I'll think of you." Angel says as Andrew walks out the back door. You could've at least looked at me when I said that. Angel thought as Andrew closed the door. She takes the ring out of the box and puts it on her ring finger. She looks at the ring on her finger. It looks like two hands holding a heart with a crown on top of the heart; the point of the heart is pointing in. Then Angel turns to grab her white cordless phone of the jack. She presses talk and dials 555-3832.> Hunter: I love that generic phone number. Vince: Better than 867-5309. *Shane sings*: JENNY, I GOT YOUR NUMBER! *Mark growls at him* <"Hello?" the voice on the other end says. "Hi Sandra." Angel says happily. "Hi." Sandra says. "Did you get a creepy invite to Hardy Mansion for Friday?" "Uh no. But Jeff got one, I was just over there."> Shane: Okay, okay...Jeff is a Hardy, is he not? Why would he be invited to his own mansion? Hunter: And since when do Hardys have a mansion? Since when do they live in anything except trailers with cinderblocks for steps? Vince: Watch it, blondy. Some very nice people have lived in trailers. Hunter: Like who? *All glare at him* <"Damn there goes what I thought." "What did you think?" " I thought that the invites were a Hardy prank." "Oh." "Do you know if Jeff is actually going?" "No." "I'm going." "Have fun." "You think we should call Jeff on three-way and ask him?"> Shane: Oooh, a threeway. *Vince sighs*: She doesn't mean it like that, you pervert. Hunter: Who knows. Maybe she did. She is hot for a lot of what the Hardys got. *Mark rolls his eyes*: Did you come up with that all by yourself? *Hunter flips him off* <"Sure." "Who's gonna call him?" "You can." "No way, he's your boyfriend you call. Besides he's got caller id and he's kinda mad at me." " Why's he mad at you?" "Cause I kinda shoved cake in his face at my birthday party remember?" "Dude I wasn't there, remember?"> Vince: This is her best friend, and she wasn't even at her birthday party? *Shane shrugs*: Brookie's best friend wasn't at her party one year. *Hunter lifts a brow*: When was the last time Brookie even went to a party, let alone threw her own? *Mark blinks at looks at him*: Remember? The one before Thanksgiving last year? *Hunter looks confused then blinkblinks*: Oh, yeah...the one where she got the nickname "The Girl Who Puked on the Virgin Mary. <"Opps. Well I did and now he won't talk to me only Matt will." "Ok" Click Click Ringing "Hello?" Sandra asks. "I'm still here." Angel says as someone picks up the other line. "Hello?" a male voice asks. "Hi Jeff. Hey I'm on three-way with Angel and she want to ask you something." Sandra asks quickly. "You.... Are you going to that party at Hardy Mansion?" Angel asks. "How did you know I was invited?" Jeff asks suspiciously.> Shane: Hmmmmmm...maybe because it's at a house with the same name as you? Mark: Jeffs have never really been big on brains. *Jeff nods in agreement then blinks*: HEY! <"Dumb question. Sandra told me." Angel says smart assy.> Hunter: Smart assy? Shane: That's a new one. <"Yeah I probably will." Jeff says carelessly. "Do you know if Matt got an invite?" Angel asks curiously. "Yeah he did and so what?" Jeff says getting annoyed "Who are you taking with you?" Angel asks. " Who do you think I'd take with me?" Jeff says like a smart-ass.> Shane: As opposed to 'smart assy'. <" Oh I don't know. You're weird so I had to ask." Angel jokes. "You said I'm weird?! You're the dumb ass who caked someone at your own party!" Jeff snaps. "Well if you're going to be and ass-hole Jeff then I'm getting off the phone. See ya." Angel snaps. Click. " Hi." Sandra says meekly.> Hunter: She's talking meekly to her boyfriend? *Shane rolls his eyes*: Not everyone has such an open and confident relationship with their significant other like you do, Hunter. <"Hi" Jeff says. "So who're you taking?" " Who do you think?" "Matt?"> Mark: I thought he just said Matt got an invitation too. Vince: Chalk one up in the "I'm so fucking stupid I shouldn't be allowed to breed" column for Sandra. <"I'm talking to um." "Oh I'm dumb." "Yup you are." "Fine then you can't sit next to me at Smackdown tonight. Pptbt" "Fine then. Pptbt back to you." "Don't go taking my words." "Who's gonna sit by you if I can't then?" "Your brother." "I'd kill him." "Why?" "Cause you know Matt he'll flirt with any girl, taken or not."> Hunter: What about guys? Does he flirt with them too? Vince: You're just sick, you know that? Hunter: Yup, I know it. <"So?" "So, he even flirts with Angel and he's gotten his ass kicked a few times for it." "Your point is?" "That I don't want my dumb ass brother flirting with my girl."> *Shane bats his eyes at Hunter*: Can I be your girl, Huntsy? *Hunter glares at him*: DON'T CALL ME THAT! <"Gee a hint of jealousy there maybe?"> Taker: Gee, a hint of stupid fucking dialogue there maybe? <"No it's just I don't trust him around you." "Oh so you're saying that you don't trust me now? We'll see about that." Click> Shane: Is that it? Hunter: Fat chance, wonder boy. More soon!