Amanda ~*~ [6...5...4...3...2...1...] [Enter Theater] [From L-R: Bret, X-Pac, HHH, HBK] jeff_hardy_is_god HBK: Oh no... >>(18/F/Minneapolis) HHH: HA! X-Pac: Should I be frightened? >>Sub: Sean Update Bret(snickering): In a word? Yes. >>OK, I stopped by Lifetime fitness where Sean works out today and he wasn't there. HBK: Since when did he ever work out? X-Pac: Hey! HHH: Well, you are kinda skinny... X-Pac: Got two words for ya, bitch. HBK: Wow, someone gets awfully *touchy* when they don't have their coffee in the morning! >>I am going to work there over X-mas break, so I gaurantee I will Bret: Make myself look like an idiot. Yes. >>run into him. HHH: And, if you weigh over 10 pounds, you'll knock 'im down. >>I'll ask about the official web site. I'm also going to yell at him about being so mean!! X-Pac: Most people generally don't like stalkers, you know. >>LOL, X-Pac is so bad, HBK: Bad boy. >>but Sean is so nice!! Bret(warrily glancing to his right): We talkin' about the same guy here? >>I was really upset when he HHH: called the cops on me. >>screwed HBK: Bischoff. X-Pac: Okay, now you've just gone TOO far! Bret(shivering): Definitely. And besides, wouldn't he still have a job there in that case? >>over the Hardy Boyz twice. HHH: Too much MiSTing. What was that about? HBK: I don't know. Somethin' about screwing the Bischoff Boyz or somethin'. >> OK, anyway, if anyone has Sean's address, X-Pac: Let me know yours so I can personally shoot you. >>if it is the Pleasant St. address in Minneapolis, it is wrong. He moved and they won't forward it to him. HHH: Scary. People are SCARY. X-Pac(paling): Tell me about it. >>If you somehow got your hands on his Ramsey address, I am really proud of you because Bret: I have no life? >> I live right next to him (X-Pac begins to grip the arms of his chair until his knuckles turn white) and I still can't find his address. HBK: She lives right next to him and can't figure out his address, eh? HHH: It takes a special kind of person. X-Pac: Re- "SPECIAL". ~*~ >>xpacsgurl Bret: Check it out, it's the Mrs.! Sub: Sean Update X-Pac: I...I...(blinks as the other MiSTies begin to struggle to hide their laughter) >>now i am very disapointed i wanted HHH: to have a life... >>to send him all this stuff HBK(pretending to read from a clipboard): Razor, cheese whiz, mailbomb... >>and i know its the pleasant ave one cause i like memorized it, Bret: Now I'M beginning to get scared. (X-Pac is just staring blankly at the screen) >>maybe you could stake out that road and look for him X-Pac(snapping out of his trance): NO! ~*~ jeff_hardy_is_god X-Pac(groaning): Oh God... Sub: Re: Sean Update Like I told you before, if you HBK: Believe *any* of this stuff I'm saying, then you're a complete moron. Bret: Say it with me now, boys and girls- MARK! >>have a scanner, I'd be happy to give your drawings and stuff to Sean. I'll see him over Christmas break. (all look at X-Pac, who shakes his head and whimpers) ~*~ >>alhubly HHH(hopeful): Ah, a normal post! I hope. >>Sub: HBK: "I am a complete and total lifeless loser with nothing better to do than to make up stories of how I stalk my baby!" (The faint sound of X-Pac whimpering in the background can be heard) >>Hey All >>HI! HHH: Only thing worse than a mark is a hyper one. >>IHAVE Bret: No life. >>A QUESTION AND I THOUGHT MAYBE X-Pac: I could pester you until you gave me an answer I can take for reality? >>YOU COULD HELP? HBK(snickering): Honey, you're beyond all help now. >>DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HHH: It's like to be such an absolute moron like me?! >>SEANS WIFE LOOKS LIKE (HBK opens his mouth, but X-Pac glares angrily at him) X-Pac: I dare you to say something. ANYTHING. (HBK gulps, shakes his head) X-Pac: Yeah, that's what I thought. >>IF YOU DO COULD YOU DESCRIBE HER TO ME? Bret(laughing): Sounds like you got a lesbian stalker, Kid! Congrats, you're moving up in the world. (X-Pac sighs) I AM JUST CURIOUSE HHH: And I can't spell... THANX BYE!!!!!!! HBK: Ever watch Animaniacs? You know that Mindy girl? ~*~ >>jeff_hardy_is_god X-Pac: God, no, this is never going to end! >>Sub: Re: Hey All >>I know his wife....I'll describe her. (All, save for 'Pac, start laughing) >>Why is it important anyway?? Bret: Kinda sad when stalkers even forget their purpose. >>But, she has long bleached hair, very tan, maybe about 5'4, (X-Pac's mouth drops open, HBK burts into laughter) HBK: It's Chae! And she's a midget! >>skinny, kinda reminds me of Madonna. HHH(confused): How the Hell do you get 'Madonna' from a chick that's short, tan, and has long, bleached hair?! X-Pac(sobbing): I don't know... >>She's very pretty HBK(smugly): Especially when she's underneath me...OW! X-Pac: Shut up! >>and she's pretty nice. HHH(pouting: Not to ME, she isn't! (turning thoughtful) Why DOES she hate me so much, anyhow? X-Pac: Maybe if you didn't try to grope her everytime you saw her... HHH: Well, yeah, but still! >>I haven't seen her since June, X-Pac: eh, neither have I. >>so she may look a little different now. I'll see her (and Sean) over break, so I'll let you know if she's changed when I get back! HBK: She changes a lot for me! (ducks as X-Pac throws another shoe) >>Or you could e-mail me at CRcheerer1@aol.com because that's the addy I'll use when I go home! X-Pac(looking down and busily scribbling in a notebook): a...o...l...dot...com. Got it! Soon as I get outta here, SOMEONE'S going to be getting a load of SPAM! ~*~ >>jeff_hardy_is_god Bret: She's persistent, I'll give 'er that. >>Sub: Why? HHH: That's what we'd all like to know, Toots. >>Why hasn't anyone written here for a while?? HBK: Uh...Maybe they got lives? >>Well, I haven't seen Sean X-Pac(adamantly): EVER. >>since last Thursday, Bret: She's gonna drive this poor kid paranoid. (Looks worriedly over at X-Pac, who's once again gripping the arms of his chair) >>so I haven't talked to him about X-Pac: ANYTHING. SAY it, biyatch! You don't know me! >>the website or anything. I'll probably see him HBK: Never. (looks over at X-Pac) Just thought I'd say it before you did. >>tomorrow and I'll ask him HHH: Not to get me put in prison. >>about it next week. Oh my god, I think X-Pac: I'm a stalker! >>his kids are the two most adorable Bret: Brats. kids I have ever seen in my life!! X-Pac: Whoa, whoa, HEY! Where the fuck did THIS come from?! HHH: Language, Kid. X-Pac: Oh, believe me, I am BEYOND caring at this point. HBK: He's getting scary. >>His daughter is so sweet and his son cracks me up!! OK, so, yeah....just had to share that with ya. Bret(shaking his head): Okay, I'll help you kill 'er, okay, Kid? ~*~ >>alhubly X-Pac(near tears): It...It's never going to end... >>Sub: Re: Why? >>I think that is so neat that you see his kids! HHH: I see 'em, too, and at least THEY like me, which is more than I can say for the Mrs! The snob. X-Pac(smugly): Nah, she just has better taste than them. HHH: Then how the Hell did you two ever hook up? Bret: Swish! >>do they look like him? HBK: Nope, they look like ME! X-Pac(grumbling): At least my kids aren't ponies... >>I cant wait till you talk to him HHH: This is entering that 'frightening' stage, y'know? >>let me know all the details okay X-Pac: Details of WHAT?! >>bye HBK: Good ridance, freak. ~*~ >>jeff_hardy_is_god Bret: No, no, NO! Make it STOP! Sub: Re: Why? >>They look like HBK: Shawn. >>Sean a little bit. I've seen younger pictures of him and HHH: Was scarred for life. >>both kids have the same facial features as him. Bret: Poor kids. X-Pac: You're too charitable. >>When I got to work today, HBK: I was fired. then I was hit by a bus. But still I managed to find the courage to type this letter! >>his daughter and niece were there, X-Pac(puzzled): What neice? I have a neice? No one told ME about this...and after all, it'd only be fair... >>so I was hoping Sean would pick them up, but he wasn't working out today. Tomorrow is his regular day, HBK(giggling): Regular day? What, does tomorrow start the week of Bloody Days for you, Kid? X-Pac: Leave me alone! >>so I know he'll be there. Bret: I also know his entire work and flight schedule, his social security number, credit card number, mother's maiden name, and his bloodtype. >>I know this is wrong, but I HHH: Am a compulsive liar. >>always give his kids special treatment, like HBK: the *good* kind of conditioner! Everyone knows their dad's too cheap to get it... X-Pac: Suck it! >>longer time playing the computer Bret: And a six-year-old just LOVES playing on a computer, let me tell ya. >>and today his daughter was saying that she was HBK: Frightened of me and wanted to go home, but I had to shut her up by giving her a bunch of sugar. X-Pac(eyes widening): She was awfully hyper a little while ago... >>hungry and we're only supossed to give kids snack if Bret: We're feeling generous. >>their parents pay for it, but I snuck her and her cousin HBK: into a strip joint. (X-Pac glares at HBK and flips him off; Shawn grins) >>some treats. HBK: Yeah, like I said, a strip joint! >>And I let his son get away with anything.>> (X-Pac raises an eyebrow, HBK starts to say something, then shakes his head) >>They are just so damn HHH: MEAN. >>cute, I can't say no to them! Yeah, so, I'll let you know all the details when I talk to Sean!! Bret: Some people *really* need a reality check, y'know? Now see, Canadians don't act like that. HBK: Canadians also have no purpose in life. HHH(mumbling to himself) Here we go again.... Bret(defensively): Yeah? Well, we gave you hockey! HBK: Who the Hell actually watches hockey? Bret: Me! HBK: That doesn't count, you...you Canuck! Bret: You're just jealous 'cause my country's bigger than yours. We're bigger, we're on top, and America's our bitch. HBK: Yeah, well, we CLAIMED your country in a war and we gave it BACK! Bret(mouth dropped open): Okay, NOW you're just playing DIRTY! HBK: Can't take it, Pink Wonder? Bret: Bring it on, Dancin' Queen! (The two begin to pummel each other in the floor; HHH and X-Pac sigh and continue) ~*~ >>jeff_hardy_is_god HHH: I think that's considered blasphemy. >>Sub: Sean story X-Pac(trembling): Please don't let it be fanfic, please don't let it be fanfic... HHH: There's nothing wrong with fanfic. X-Pac: YES THERE IS! I mean, have you SEEN some of the stuff that's been written about me? Besides the fact I've been ridden more than the town bike, I have these three chicks where I swear, their only goal in life is to make me suffer! HHH(snorting): Oh, right. Like who? X-Pac: Well, I don't know their names, exactly, but there's this one that can't write anything with me in it unless I'm killed or I HAVE killed someone! HHH: I know what story you're talking about now! Good, too. X-Pac: You weren't the one that got his throat slit. HHH: No, but you got to screw Shane! X-Pac: That's something to be proud of? HHH: Yes. X-Pac: Whatever. So there's another girl that I guess thinks it's fun to have me stalked by a psycho that's torturing my friends and family! HHH: So? That's a good story, too, so stop complaining. X-Pac: Yeah, you'll see how fun it is when you get killed. HHH(gulping): What? X-Pac(smiling to himself): Wait an' see. HHH(pulling at his collar): HEY! We have the rest of the MiSTing to do. >>Well, I got my hands on Seans (HHH giggles, X-Pac silently warns him to keep his mouth shut) >>address, so, of course I had to drive by his house. (X-Pac, taking a drink from his bottle of water, promptly spits it out over the screen) X-Pac: WHAT?! HHH: Okay, it's not fun anymore. It's FRIGHTENING. >>It is so nice! It's right on the river, they have a huge pool and a gazeebo (sp?) in the backyard. It's a big house. X-Pac: So this person just took complete inventory of my home, huh? HHH: You can move in with me, if you want. X-Pac: I think I'd rather take my chances with the psycho chick. >>And guess what? I'm going to get to go inside his house. HHH: Holy shit! X-Pac: I...I... >>I talked to his wife today about babysitting for them and she said she'd definitly call me. HHH: Kid, I...Really don't know what to say...(trying not to laugh) >>She says her daughter talks about me all the time. Cool, huh?? HHH: Oh yeah, REAL cool. X-Pac: So THAT'S the monster the kid was trying to tell us about! ~*~ >>jeff_hardy_is_god X-Pac: If there is truly a God, this will end. NOW. >>Sub: Here's what's gonna happen HHH: I'm going to make an idiot of myself, then scare my stalkee! (looks down when he hears Shawn screaming) Bret... Bret(looking up from where he has Shawn in the sharpshooter): What? I'm winning! HHH(after a pause): Nevermind. >>Ok, I'm working today and I X-Pac: Do use the term 'working' loosely. >>will find out all the information I can about Sean and his wife without directly asking. HHH: OH man!! X-Pac: What IS it with her?! >>But I had this horrible dream last night. HHH: In it, I'd actually (gasps dramatically) gotten a life! >>I was talking to Terry and she's like, HHH: You freak! Leave me alone! Get out of my house! X-Pac: Nah, that's what she says to you. HHH: Punk. >>"yeah, we've been really busy and our family's going through a crisis" or something like that. I can't really remember. X-Pac: I'm being punished for something. I don't know what, but I was a very, VERY bad person in a past life. HHH: I'm thinking you were Hitler. X-Pac(horrified): I'm a JEW, you moron! HHH: Poetic justice! >>Anyway, I hope that's not the case. Info will be posted either Sunday night or Monday. X-Pac: Yeah, I'll be looking for it. (looks down, kicks Shawn) Wanna go get somethin' to eat? HBK: Yeah, gimmie a second. (X-Pac and HHH share a glance, shrug, then walk out) [1...2...3...4...5...6...] [Exit Theater] [End] "And it comes to be that the soothing light At the end of your tunnel Was just a freight train comin' your way." -Metallica, "No Leaf Clover" "What kind of family did I marry into?!"-HHH "They [The Hardy Boyz] spell it with a 'z'. Is that supposed to scare us or something?"-Christian "When Edge smiles, I get uneasy."-CRZ, wrestleline.com